A healthy relationship has seven ingredients……
Although a picture of a couple on Facebook for some may seem established, research indicates that it is important to flaunt his relationship.
A well-functioning relationships can make people happy and light as a feather, but a partner can also mean something to our physical health.
New research, published in the magazine Health Psycology shows that our health is affected by whether our partner is happy or unhappy.
The researchers behind the study has followed 1,981 American couples over 50 years since 1992, and the results show that people with an unhappy partner has multiple physical complaints, exercise less and assess their overall health worse than those with a happy partner.
Other research has shown that people living happily together in pairs late in life, live longer and have better movement, teeth, eyesight and general health than singles, explains Asger Neumann, a psychologist and lecturer at the Department of Psychology at the University of Aarhus.
– It matters to your health that you concern for your partner. You make perhaps better dinners because you are two, or say to each other that “you soon have to go to the dentist,” he says.
One out of five – doubt whether the partner is the right one!
When Asger Neumann talks about the most important ingredients for a healthy relationship, he refers to Thomas Nielsen’s book “Love and relationships under the researcher’s microscope“, which gathered results from research in relationships.
According to the book, one of the most important ingredients is, that you make an effort for each other. This means that it is positive, taking into account and listen to each other.
– It can bring down the whole effort of intimacy and peace of mind, if you ignore each other in a relationship. If one comes home and joyfully over an exam and find that his girlfriend just do not care, says Asger Neumann.
In fact, research shows that it is important to show – flag your relationship and love to the world.
– It’s surprising for our culture, that it has proven to be important for satisfaction in the relationship that proclaims the “we-ness” to the outside world. This helps to confirm that I have you and you have me, and that makes us safe, says Asger Neumann.
A third key factor is that you share the practical doings. It does not mean that both parties must cut equally amount of stern and wash the same number of coffee cups, as long as both parties find that the other contributing.
The fourth ingredient came a surprise to Asger Neumann, research also shows that it is important that we want to teach our partner’s friends and family as to know. Most people seam to think that, that is very important for a good relationship.
Finally, it is important that we to a certain extent have similar interests, lifestyles and values, and that we feel an intimacy, so we feel confident to show us naked for one another both physically and emotionally.
And then there’s the sex.
– People have a natural “skin-hunger” as the Swedes call it, and therefore it is important for a relationship to have sex or to have close physical contact by, for example to spoon.
If some of the ingredients are less present than others, it does not need to destroy the entire relationship.
Studies show that a relationship that is primarily based on respect, compassion, intimacy and positive experiences, have stronger odds in the long run than a relationship that is primarily based on passion, lust, desire and sex.