That’s why we get divorced
Why are there so many that are divorced? Is it because we growing apart? Because the partner is dull or bad in bed. No not at all.
The surprising reason for most divorces is …
Almost half of all marriages are unfortunately divorced.
Why? Is it because of adultery that the partner is boring or that we have grown apart? Yes, of course, it can also play a role, but the absolute most common cause of divorce at home is just that we can not figure out how to talk to each other, it’s very simple.
“Our inability to talk together is clearly the main reason for divorce. Communication is so damn important, but we are so bad to talk together when it really matters”
“We have never really learned to talk about things that can be difficult or hurt; In fact, we have learned the opposite, just talking about something else instead.
But in order to get a relationship to work, one has to be able to talk about the things that are going on. Big as small.
The closed door
Does it sound searched or superficial?
Try to imagine that every time you come home and need to tell you something that made you sad, you met a closed door. Each time you felt that you as a couple needed to discuss something more seriously, there was no response from the partner. Every time you tried to make him understand something was important to you, he struck it with a laugh.
“It does not have to deal with a big and violent conflict that you never get anything about. Sometimes it’s a myriad of minor conflicts, which together make a couple get divorced.
Every little conflict is a brick, and when you have had many of them, you have built a wall between them, which can be very difficult to break down.
The relationship becomes unsafe
“When you do not talk about the big and small things, the relationship becomes a very unsafe place to be in. If you know in advance that there are some topics that you can not talk about, then your partner will no longer be your safe haven, where you can search when you need comfort and that separates you.
Best advice to everyone is better communicating with each other.
Many of us probably know the scene because we get home from work and women have a great need to tell about everything that has happened while the man might need to just sit with the PC or newspaper in Peace and quiet and relax. If he is just dismissive when she tries to tell about her day, a conflict can quickly arise where she feels he does not care. But if he says it’s like “he has had a hard day and just need half an hour to fall down” then she knows why he will not listen and no conflict will be needed out of it.
It may sound banal, but we are really bad for that kind of thing. If we were able to talk openly about our feelings – even the hard ones – it would most certainly save many marriages.